what i'm trying to say is....

Midwifery school has turned me into a ghost lately, sneaking in at night and leaving before the sun rises again. It's been hard but rewarding and mostly, really overwhelming. And I feel like it has ostracized me a bit from everyone. You know when you're going through something and you can try to tell people about it but you know they won't really get it? 

 The gist of it is - I am so freaking busy all of the time. I've been home for less than 5 waking hours for the past 8 days and driven close to 900 miles. I found myself buying groceries in the ghetto as the store was closing the other night. I sat in my car and scribbled a grocery list and then ran around trying to find everything in 5 minutes flat. When I got to the checkout the cashier smiled and asked, how has your day been?  and what I wanted to say was, well, I have a sick baby at home and I'm sleep deprived and my other baby got a bad gash in her foot and I'm worried that she's going to get tetanus and die and I'm trying not to internalize the issues that one of my yoga students uncovered in class today and I'm cooking breakfast for thirty people tomorrow morning and oh yeah, I just helped two new people enter this world today, right in their own living rooms, it was crazy.

But instead, I just smiled back and heard myself say, it was great, thanks.

A reprieve from the insanity. We took trip to Utah to watch my brother get married last month. I turned my phone off for a week and we played all day long.

A reprieve from the insanity. We took trip to Utah to watch my brother get married last month. I turned my phone off for a week and we played all day long.

At a cabin tucked away in the mountains, playing tag with cousins at twilight, barefoot, on grass that feels like carpet.

At a cabin tucked away in the mountains, playing tag with cousins at twilight, barefoot, on grass that feels like carpet.

Attached to me like two little fleas. I'm ok with that.

Attached to me like two little fleas. I'm ok with that.

This entry is part of an "11 on 11" series I'm participating in with some photographers whose work inspires me: Sara Kaleho (MN)Sanna Lee (MN)Marie Sant (UT)Kelly Sweda (CA), and Brandi Tejeda (CO. We all post 11 photos on the 11th of each month, just for fun. 

We link to each other to create a blog circle. You can follow along by checking out Kelly's post.